A New Day!!

During a recent service I was reminded of these words in Song of Solomon 2:10 - 16

"My beloved is like a gazelle or a young hart. Behold, he stands behind the wall of our house, he looks in through the windows, he glances through the lattice. My beloved speaks and says to me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.The fig tree puts forth and ripens her green figs, and the vines are in blossom and give forth their fragrance, Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away."

God asked me the question "do you believe that this word is for you personally?" "Do you really believe?" Our actions and conversations when we are in our day to day activies will answer this. Do we believe that God is both willing and able to declare the end of winter over our lives. I encourage you to check your heart and answer honestly.

Then choose to take this promise with both hands and actively believe and expect to see the fruit of it. And be ready with much praise as you see the flowers blossom and you get to eat of the fruit and take in the beautiful fragrance of a life dripping with God's favour and goodness.

Let is be as Psalm 65:11 says "You crown the year with Your bounty and goodness, and the tracks of Your chariot wheels drip with fatness."

May 2010 be crowned with God's bounty and goodness! Just as a pregnant women, expectant with fulfillment of the promise, may you also be expecting to see the fruit of the promise.

The winter is past, leave the disappointments, hardships and failures in 2009 behind you and Arise and come away with the good Shepherd and listen to the words of love and promise He has for you and then believe and live it out!

Hope Floats

I know I must sound like I never have any good days, but I only seem to write when the emotions are raw or maybe it is the fact that this is a really hard and testing season in my life. Starting your own business, having teenagers and being married, I was warned, is not for the faint hearted, well its true, but then nothing worth having ever is.

Anyway, here is what I wrote the other night after a particular crushing time of having to face the fact that every area of my life is being shaken and has revealed huge cracks. Circumstances had left me feeling utterly crushed under the weight of feeling helpless and out of control, because unless God intervenes in each of these areas they are not going to change for the better. As I lay next to my hubby he prayed over me in a whisper, my heart was aching and I was weeping and in my heart cried out to my Father. “Where are you in this Lord?” not in accusation but as a child in pain. After Gary had prayed and tried to wipe away the tears he took out one of his little “don’t quit” cards I had given him a while ago that sits in a little box next to his bed, he read out the answer to my silent question.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. (www.bible.com – Amplified Bible)

Because I couldn’t sleep I got up and started writing. Two words kept swirling around in my head. Hope floats. Hmmm, still chewing on them, wasn’t there a movie with the same name?

Hopelessness is like a thick black sludge seeping into the holes of the bucket of our souls; it starts off slowly and doesn’t seem to interfere too much with the stability of it in the beginning. The holes for me represented the lies I believe about how hopeless it is and looking at the circumstances through the lenses of hopelessness. Eventually the weight of the sludge (circumstances) pulls the bucket right under and overwhelms you. Only thing to do is to plug the holes or lies with the gum of the Word and let Him restore your bucket with the living Water then even if it’s in the thickest sludge of circumstance; Hope floats.

In this world there is always going to be sludge, but we have to remember that we are not of this world and that our Saviour came to overcome this world and because we are seated in heavenly places with him, we are above the sludge looking down with a higher perspective. We are more than conquerors!!

So be encouraged and block up those holes with the Word of God, and get and stay connected to the vine so that you are constantly being nourished and being filled with the living water.

As I write this I am in a better place, and that anguish seems like a distant memory, not because the sludge is gone, if fact the circumstances remain almost the same, but the hope that fills me up has brought me above the sludge and I am able to continue to fight the good fight and to navigate to clearer waters.

Hope is the bridge between Faith and seeing the fulfilment of what we have faith for. Don’t lose hope!

Hope Floats!

The long and winding road to the Promised Land!

I recently went for my usual morning walk, armed with my bright yellow dumbbells and learnt a valuable lesson along the way.

It has been a particularly hard week following a particularly hard series of months. Starting a business from scratch in the middle of a recession can be a tough. Anyway, back to the walk. I was feeling a little low and started chatting to God and thinking about the load that I was carrying, all the things that were weighing me down, work, kids, kids schooling, live in Father-in-Law, finances, etc. The more I thought about these things the heavier I felt until it all got to much and I was walking down the road sobbing, I had a few inquiring stares and would just pull my cap down to try cover up.

At one point of the walk, I felt as if my legs were lead and the 2kgs dumbbells in my hands weighed 200kgs and it all got too much and I said to the Lord, I just can’t anymore, it is all too much. I feel so alone. I can’t walk this road anymore. Both of us knew I wasn't referring to the walk as much my "walk" in life.

This is the conversation that then took place in my heart:

“My child, what are you going to do then, do you want to stop and sit here on the road?”

“No, that would be silly and dangerous, no one is coming to fetch me and I will not get anywhere and will be a sitting duck for mischief makers.”

“Do you want to go back the way you came?” He then asked

I looked back and realised that I was at the end of my route. “No Lord, that would be silly I am nearly there, it would be longer to go back.” I thought about my life, and thought, I have reached a point in my life where going back is not an option, because there is nothing there for me anymore.

“Well then, what is your only option?” he asked and I am sure I could hear a smile in His voice.

“To put one foot in front of the other, to carry on, one step at a time, to trust you and to know that all this is for my good.” And I did, one hard step at a time and the more I focus on Him in my daily walk the lighter to journey is. I made it home and as I came around the corner and saw my house, I felt God whisper into my heart Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

MAY MY LIFE BE AN ANTHEM OF PRAISE TO HIS NAME.

We recently went to the Playhouse to watch Ivan's (no. 1) girlfriend play the Clarinet in the KZN Youth Wind Band. It was wonderful to hear and see that awesome talent.

As a watched I just thought how each instrument on their own was lovely, but the true wonder of the amazing show was when all the different instruments which were so unique in each of their sounds were played together.

I watched as they kept their eyes on two places, there were no eyes wondering around, they were either looking at their music sheets or at the Conductor who was directing them.

It was quite breathtaking actually. As are the sounds our life gives off when we are following the "music sheet" of our life. God has given us His Word to guide us along to that we can know what the song should be and how it should sound.

I watched as they all turned pages at different times, the young girl right at the back walk across passed two musicians to turn the page of the one drummer. So I guess each had a different part to play. So it is with each one of us. We each have a unique song to play to God that brings Him glory and pleasure, but when we want to be heard all the time or play a different tune it takes away from the overall sound.

One of the young men playing a Clarinet right in the front looked as if he was having the time of his life, what a joy to watch him. As we play our lifesong to God do we do it with joy. Do we watch the conductor for the right cues and timing and whether to be gentle or loud. Do we listen to that still small voice of the Holy Spirit as he leads and guides us in a melody that is pleasing to the Father and brings honor to His name.

Father God, may my life be a song that is rich and pure as I join with my brother's and sisters to bring glory to your Awesome Name!!

Hey! Where did that River go?

As I read over the last two blogs, something occurred to me. How did I get from the River to the desert road? When exactly did I, not only get back on the cliff, but land up in the desert. Did it dry up? Did I dam it up? Or did I walk out of it? And how do you stay in the River?

If the River represents relationship with God I want to immerse myself and wallow it in. If I am not in relationship, it means I am not listening and hearing from God where to go next and I have stepped into religion, which is empty and dead. We are living in a time and place where we need to be hearing the voice of God clearly to lead and guide us. When we become so busy and preoccupied with the purpose or dream and lose sight of the purpose and dream giver, that is when we find ourselves being distracted out of the river and in to the dry places. - Where we are sipping from a flask instead of basking in the cool and refreshing water that is eternal.

When was the last time you just came to God with no agenda and no requests, but to just love Him, worship Him and pour yourself out and allow him to pour His love into you and fill you to overflow?

As for me I want back in, I want to open the Word, lift it high up, fling my head back, open my mouth and allow Him to fill me up to overflow inside until it spills over, floods my life and lifts me off my feet and I find myself floating down this River drinking all He has for me and getting to know Him.

2009 WILL I BE A CLIFFHANGER OR A RIVER DANCER

The blog I was referring to in previous blog
Hello there, long time no hear, alot has happened since the last blog. It has been an amazing journey from 2008 to 2009 so far.A new year brings a sense of starting again, starting with a clean slate, a fresh and new start. So? will it be a year of playing it safe and watching life happen around you or will it be a year of exhiliration and excitement and living to the full?I choose to be a river dancer this year, I have left the security of the cliff and flung myself into the river of life. So far it has been terrifying and wonderful at the same time. My comfort zone has been utterly shattered and sometimes I have felt the river swept right over my head and I have grasped for the cliff in fear, only to realise that I could be missing out on something great that could be around the next bend. so i let go and let God!Dust off those old dreams and visions and choose to Trust God and Obey!! You have nothing to fear but fear itself! We were never destined to live life from the sidelines, we are placed here for a purpose, time is short. CHOOSE TO LIVE THE ABUNDANT LIFE, MAKE YOUR LIFE COUNT!!WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOO!!!

It is a long and winding road...

With every journey there is a start and an end. The start is exciting and full of hope and dreams of what the end of the journey will look like. There seems to be a crowd cheering as you leave, all waving you off, you may even catch some looks of envy and admiration, as you walk through. Your heart is beating wildly and your thoughts are filled with pictures of greatness, snapshots of you standing victorious at the end of your journey, may it be at the top of your mountain or at the destination of your choice. The exhilaration of having had the courage to make the first few steps out of your comfort zone spurs you on, helping you not to even look back.

The last thing you think about is the bit in the middle. The actual journey. Yes, there is great bravery in starting the journey and great celebration in completing the journey, but what we almost always seem to forget is that there is a journey in between. It is the stuff that builds, breaks down and then builds again. This is where the real courage and bravery is needed and developed. This is actually what the journey is all about.

Starting off on my journey, as you will remember from my last blog, began with a flying leap of faith. It started off as most journeys’ do, filled with hope and “romance” and a belief that nothing and nobody can stop you. It is like when you begin a journey with a car full of children, there is much excitement leading up to the journey and even the first few minutes of the journey. There is much chatter about what we will do and what we will see. After 10 minutes you will hear the first “Are we there yet?” or “How long ‘till we get there?” Soon after that you will hear the “He is touching me” or “He is on my side” or “I’m hungry”. After a while the joy of the journey is tested.

This past week the weariness and frustration finally caught up with me. I got to the point where I sat down in the blistering sun of my desert road, the water was finished, and the food all gone and I felt very much alone and said “I give up”. My feet refused to move forward and all hope of ever seeing the top of my mountain or the finish line were suddenly all gone. The doubts and accusations were loud and relentless. Confusion set in and I suddenly began to wonder if I was still going in the right direction, everything looked unfamiliar, dark and dangerous. Fear started creeping up my spine as I heard the voice say, “Did He really say?”, "Who do you think you are anyway?" and “You are not worthy for this purpose”.

I was invited to an “Ugly Betty” evening at Deo Dax (Thank you to the ladies who organised it, it was an evening of excellence, passion and sincerity)and before I left home that night I asked God, no actually pleaded “to please speak loud”. I smile as I type this as I am so grateful I serve a living interested God and not some empty statue, concept or religion. The evening was full of meaningful moments which spoke to my discouraged heart, but He didn’t leave it there, the tears poured down my cheeks as the worship songs we sang were handpicked with me in mind and then the cherry on the top, a word from a stranger using the very same scripture God had given me at the start of my journey to confirm and bring courage, then another strangers arms were around me asking me to come with her and they lead me to a place prepared for prayer with water flowing, where a new friend watered me and refreshed with prayer and love me and then a letter written by a stranger to a stranger trusting God that it would be life to the receiver, with words that were inspired straight from the heart of God.

These are the words I wrote as I sat later that night taking it all in:
“My heart was so heavy tonight, I was ready to give up. The worship was so sweet, I wept. Someone stood up and spoke about the Eagle from Isaiah 40:31. About having God’s perspective. Yes Lord I will wait….
Today I sat down and said I can’t, but you came and gently, lovingly took my chin by your finger and lifted my head, you picked my up. You embraced me and poured your living water into my soul, my tired and weary soul, you calmed my fears, you breathed hope and courage into my heart, you set my shoulders straight and placed me back on the path and you whispered in my ear, “Fear not for I am with you. I will not fail you, I will not leave you and I will not disappoint you. I love you. You are mine, Princess. It is not too difficult for you. I made this path with you in mind, go and bless others.

Isaiah 40:29, 31
He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength [causing it to multiply and making it to abound].

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

So if your journey has become less than fun and the temptation of giving up and turning back is great, let me encourage you to look up to the One who is never far away and always ready to show Himself faithful through His Word, and through His people.

I am ready to leave the oasis because I know the One who lives in me is the Oasis creator, He is my everything!!!